Gai's New Find
by crysthur and artheph
Summary: Gai has purchased a coveted object of his dreams. He goes down the streets of Konoha to show off his new accessory. How will the ninjas react to this crazy fashion addition? ONE SHOT


Artheph's Note: When the topic of those horrible looking Asian visors came up whilst Crysthur and I were chatting away, this idea popped up in my head. No idea what visor I'm talking about? Go to google. Type in "sinosplice asian visor". There's some really good pics and a good description of the visor. Yeah, that's not my site or anything; it's just something I google-ized. Anyway, oh my gosh, those visors are HORRIBLE!! If you live in Southern California, near the Chinatowns, you'll know what I'm talking about. By the way, Crysthur and I are both Chinese, so it's ok for us to bash the Chinese culture. Teehee. But we are incredibly embarrassed by what the Chinese culture has produced to save their precious white skin. Like those visors. And those arm coverers to wear while you are driving so as to not get a tan through the windows!! Aggh. But please, enjoy the story because I had MUCH fun writing it. Also, try to imagine the main character in the visor because it will produce a hilarious image in your mind.

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"Ah hah!" A man in a rather conspicuous green body suit chuckled quietly. "I finally found you!"  
He gazed longingly at this coveted treasure of his dreams. This object would make him the happiest man on earth. Why? Because a) maybe it would bring back his SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH! and b) it would make Kakashi oh SO jealous. The man in the rather conspicuous green body suit chuckled quietly even more. _I better show Lee!_ he thought.

"...What is it, Gai?"  
"How can you not know?" Gai punched Lee in the face. The force sent Lee spinning into the air and landing some distance far away. "It's a VISOR!"  
Oh, but it wasn't just any old visor. No, it was not a gangster visor that rappers wear. FAR from that. It was those gay-ass-looking-visors-from-Southern-California-Asian-markets-that-look-like-a-freaking-shield-for-your-face-visor. It was also GREEN to perfectly match Gai's GREEN SPANDEX OF YOUTH.

Note: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! If you skipped my FIRST author's note, and you have NO idea what visor I'm talking about, go to google. Type in "sinosplice asian visor". In order to understand the story, you MUST go there!!

Gai put on his new accessory for the first time. He imagined himself emanating a divine glow with his PERFECT outfit. The visor completed him. He gave a thumbs up sign and smiled widely. His teeth PINGED.

Gai stepped onto Konoha's busy streets, hoping to show off his fabulous visor. Ino and Sakura had finished their shopping when they approached Gai. Sakura had bought those fashionable blue ninja sandals that were ALL the rage. Seriously. Everyone wore them. Ino had bought some extra arm warmers. Both girls were extremely content with their purchases. But when they saw Gai with his horrendously unfashionable visor, they screamed. The image was just TOO ugly to look at. They closed their eyes, hoping it was all a figment of their imagination. But it wasn't.  
"Hey girls! Check out my hot new visor!"  
Ino and Sakura reluctantly opened their eyes. The man before them gave them the shivers. How could someone so hideous be ALLOWED to live? When Gai gave them a thumbs up sign, the two girls couldn't take it anymore.  
"We uhh...yeah." Sakura and Ino pushed Gai out of the way and sped off.  
"They must have been jealous of my new visor," Gai chuckled.

He ambled down the street, periodically waving to some random people. Those he waved to quickly turned away, pretending they didn't know the man in the terrible green body suit and now clad with a green gay-ass-looking-visors-from-Southern-California-Asian-markets-that-look-like-a-freaking-shield-for-your-face-visor. The day Gai purchased his new visor and showed it off in the streets was the all time high of recorded spazzings.

As Ino and Sakura were running away from Gai, they had warned their fellow ninjas of the impending danger to their minds and eyes. Most took heed and ran off to their homes. Only one ignored the warning.  
"Che. I've seen uglier things. I live with bugs after all," said Shino. He strolled along the street.  
Gai soon spotted the quiet ninja with the tall afro. "I should enlighten that young man who obviously has a poor fashion sense. When he sees my GREAT outfit, he will most definitely be influenced for the better! Hello there, young ninja!"  
Shino's eyes widened behind his sunglasses. His jaw dropped under his high collar. Perhaps he should have listened to Ino and Sakura. Shino was HORRIFIED for the first time of his life. He got a strange urge to send his chakra bugs to destroy Gai's horrid visor. Maybe even Gai himself. But he controlled the urge and managed to mumble, "I err...bye." He ran off.  
"Hahaha. The young man must've been so ashamed to be in my stylish presence that he had to run off. Well well, I have daddled long enough. Time to show my eternal rival my brilliant find!"

Kakashi was strolling down the street, much like Shino was, except his eyes were scanning his Come Come Paradise. He had ignored the numerous spazzing people and screaming Sakura and Ino. Come Come Paradise took all his attention. Until a certain green-shrouded ninja stopped right in front of him.  
"Not now, Gai."  
"No Kakashi. You have ignored me long enough. I have something that will CAPTURE YOUR ATTENTION!" Gai gave a thumbs up sign.  
"Uh huh." Kakashi didn't look up.  
"Cough cough." Gai's teeth PINGED.  
Kakashi still did not look up.  
Gai's teeth were now PINGING uncontrollably. He began to stand in his gay poses to emphasize his visor.  
"Look! You can even move this shield part to cover the side of your face! Isn't is just AMAZING?" Gai exclaimed, moving the shield part of his green gay-ass-looking-visors-from-Southern-California-Asian-markets-that-look-like-a-freaking-shield-for-your-face-visor.  
"Not really."  
"Kakashi, that attitude of yours is so hip and modern!" Gai pouted and looked like he was about to cry. But then he said, "AND THAT MAKES YOU A WORTHY RIVAL OF MINE!!" He chortled. "No worries, Kakashi. I WILL make you jealous. Mark my words!" Gai left, chuckling to himself.  
Kakashi glanced up when Gai had left. He finally allowed a shiver. That HAD to be the lowest Gai had ever gone.

Gai was still chuckling to himself when he heard someone calling for him.  
"GAI! GAI!"  
_It must be Lee!_ Gai thought. _Only Lee can yell with such vigor and youth!  
_"Gai! I must show you something VERY important!" Lee exclaimed excitedly.  
"Oh whatever can it be?!"  
"I have..." Lee paused dramatically. Then, he quickly pulled out a green gay-ass-looking-visors-from-Southern-California-Asian-markets-that-look-like-a-freaking-shield-for-your-face-visor from behind his back!! "...an awesome visor too!!"  
"Lee!! We MATCH even MORE now!!"  
"YAY!!"  
"We MUST frolick with our wonderful new visors on!"  
"YAY!!"  
And off went the two ninjas, in their conspicuous green body suits and green gay-ass-looking-visors-from-Southern-California-Asian-markets-that-look-like-a-freaking-shield-for-your-face-visors, frolicking into the distance.

Artheph's Note: chuckles warmly Ohhh man, can you NOT imagine Gai and Lee in those horrible gay-ass-looking-visors-from-Southern-California-Asian-markets-that-look-like-a-freaking-shield-for-your-face-visors?? Once again, if you just HAD to skip over the FIRST author's note and the SECOND author's note, go to google. Type in "sinosplice asian visor" for the pictures of these HORRIBLE looking visors, along with a wonderful description of them. Hope you enjoyed!


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